Friday, May 06, 2005

I'm back again!
I had a terrific time at Rutgers. It really is a great school and a fabulous program--everything I'm looking for. There is a real emphasis on learning the basics: mastering tools so that you can go on and develop your own style. HONESTY is the big word. Everything must be truthful and organic, and the instructors immediately jump on any false moves by either directors or actors. It's a rigorous program--very demanding and totally consuming--a true conservatory, professional development course taught by working professionals who know the business. I loved it. It was so energizing to be in an environment dedicated to learning the craft. The most amazing thing was how welcoming everyone was. All the students went out of their way to answer my questions, show me around, and rave about the instructors and the program. I also didn't see any competitiveness among the students. No one was trying to impress anyone else--it was just all about the work. A very supportive environment. This speaks volumes about the instructors--that they can create this feeling shows that they really care about training the students. I saw tons of stuff--a whole spectrum of the work: third year BFA acting students doing monologues, first year MFA acting students doing scene work (the directors are required to take all the acting classes as well, so it was great to meet the acting teacher, too), a run-through rehearsal of the third year MFA acting students showcase (which was going to be performed in NYC and LA for directos and casting agents), and finally the final scene presentations of the first year MFA directing class. I was really impressed with the directing work. There was an emphasis on honesty and simplicity that shone through all the scenes. Just what I want to strengthen in my own work. I finally got to my hotel at around midnight--a long, but exciting day. I also got to meet the other directing teacher. It was such a busy day that the head of the directing program sort of interviewed me on the fly, then told me to call her again in a few days to discuss my assigned play--we still haven't gotten to that!

Unfortunately, my main concern (as always) is if my health will allow me to do this. Can I keep up with a course load that will have me running day and night--classes, rehearsals, homework? Once I came down from the high of being there, I felt really depressed and uncertain--especially since I'm going through a tough time right now. But I don't want to dwell on this. I'll just take things as they come. I may not get accepted anyway.

The best news of all......
I got to my hotel room and checked my cell phone. There was a message from Mrs. Elvis telling me that Pig-face is finally gone!!!!!!!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Big news in Frogville!
I got a call from Rutgers University this week-end. They want me to come to campus for a second interview!! I'm flying to New Jersey tomorrow morning for a full day on campus. I'll be watching some classes plus talking to the head of the directing program. From 10-1, there is a movement class in acting drunk; from 12-1 are the BFA auditions (all the directing and playwriting students will be there, as well as the faculty--the third year acting students study in London, so this audition session is to see where they've gotten to after their training in London); from 2-6 are the final acting scene presentations of the first year MFA students (all the directing students have to take all of the acting classes as well, so I'll get to meet the instructor); I meet with the head of the directing program at 4; finally, from 7-11pm are the final scene presentations of the first year MFA directing students. I get to see both of the main classes I would be taking. I'm flying back to Buffalo around dinner time on Thursday, so I can take some time to explore on my own and check out the area.

They are only going to accept two directing students, so just getting to this point is a real accomplishment! Of course, the down side is that my digestion has decided to act up again. Same old same old. I talked to my doctor, and all she could tell me to do was to cut back my diet even more--stick to mostly liquids, scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes. She didn't think I should really go on the trip, but there's no way I'm going to miss this opportunity. I'll live on Boost and broth for a while and see if that helps. The doctor also got me an appointment with a specialist next week for a second opinion. Hopefully we can find the right cocktail to keep me moving--literally.

I also have to remember to tape AI on Wed. so I can see who gets bumped when I get back. Famous Frank told me that there is a website called Vote For the Worst. They pick the worst performer, and try to get tons of people to vote for that person, just to fuck things up on the show. Apparently it's caught on all over the country. Pig-face has been selected as the worst for the past five weeks in a row. No surprise there. I thought something like that must be going on. People have to be voting for him as a joke, and the arrogant swine thinks he deserves to be there!

Send lots of good wishes my way tomorrow, and I'll post when I get back!

Thursday, April 28, 2005

And the Swine lives on......
Pig-face in the top three and Constantine loses to Pasty Boy? This is beyond What the Fuck?! Not that I was a fan of the arrogant little poseur, but he was certainly more interesting to watch than either Pig-face or Pasty. Watch--it'll come down to Bo and Pig-face in the finale!

I saw the doctor today. Not very good news. The count shot way up to 953. She feels that all the digestive woes I've been having are basically progression of the disease, and that this is kind of my new baseline--I probably won't get much better. The goal is to keep me drinking, eating, and pooping. She wants to keep me on the Thalidomide for another month, because it's impossible to tell if it's having any effect after only three weeks. I was also off treatment for nearly a month before I started the Thalidomide, so that could be when the count went up. I see the acupuncturist on Monday, so I'll see what she has to say. At the very least, she can help me with diet since I still have to stick to a fairly soft diet. Yum.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

I've discovered the best way to watch American Idol: tape it and watch it later! Fast forward through the commercials, fast forward through Pig-face's song (I hope Simon's prediction to pack his bags is right!)--it took only about 15 minutes to watch. I was so glad to finally hear the judges say that Constantine can't sing, that he's all attitude. Constantine is my niece Groovy Girl's favorite because "he has a pony tail just like me!"

I taped the show so that I could go to my Vinyasa Flow class. I just told the instructor that I would be taking it easy. It felt so good to be moving! My body is so addicted to yoga I felt like I was feeding a starving person. I still was able to keep up and did really good in class--it continues to amaze me how strong I am. The most exciting thing: I did a headstand!! For the first time in my entire life! Of course I was up against the wall and couldn't move my feet away from the wall to balance on my own, but it was a start. Now that I've got the feeling of it, I can continue to practice on my own. Inversions are supposed to help keep you young by bringing extra blood to the brain, and the philosophical benefit is that it reminds you to look at things from other perspectives. After I got up, the instructor said, "It's very empowering, isn't it?" Yeah, baby!

Monday, April 25, 2005

I'm back!!

Little Froggie spent the past week in the hospital. What a nightmare. I went to the Emergency Room the Saturday before last because I was having acute abdominal pain. They figured I was either impacted or had a bowel obstruction. Because narcotics are very constipating (one of my contributing problems already), the only painkillers the doctor offered me were Tylenol or Motrin. I said not to even bother then. Little did I know that I would be lying there crying in agony for more than 12 hours. They sent me to x-ray, which showed no real obstruction, but lots of poop. So, the ER nurse set me up with a soap suds enema. No go. The liquid wouldn't even go up the shoot. Next, they bring me a gallon of "Go Lightly" and tell me to start drinking. I get almost half-way through and start throwing up.

Finally they decide they should call my doctor. This is now Sunday morning. My doctor's partner was on call, so he came in. He must have knocked some heads because the two residents who had been working on me looked very sheepish, and I was suddenly given a big ole dose of Toridall followed by a dose of Delaudin (massive narcotic painkillers!). What a relief. But the worse was yet to come. One of the reasons they doped me up so much was because they wanted to put in an NG tube--a tube that goes down my nose into my stomach. This was so they could suction out the stuff that was accumulating in my stomach and give me some relief from the bloating. The nurse tried two or three times, but couldn't get the tube past the back of my nasal cavity without killing me. Like the rest of me, my nose is pretty tiny. She called in the doctor to help, and gave me a shot of sedative. Then the doctor put some lubricant inside my nose, and--here's the fun part--took a swab with some COCAINE on it and swizzled it around my nostril. This time the tube went in. I was so drugged by this point I had no idea what was going on anymore.

They had already decided to admit me, but I don't even remember being taken up to my room. I surfaced for long enough to notice that Dad and Baby Bro were there, then went back out. Since it was Sunday, I was kind of just left to rest. Not that I was able to get any. They had put me in a room with a woman with Alzheimer's. She screamed and babbled and called for help all night long. I felt compassion for her and understood, but this now made for two nights in a row with no sleep. In the morning the nurse said they would work on getting me another room. In the meantime, they moved me into a hospice room. I finally got my new assigned room early in the evening.

Okay--the next four days: miserable and lots of pain in my throat from the NG tube, plus no food or drink. I subsisted on ice chips and Chloraseptic spray. More x-rays, doses of mineral oil every four hours (injected directly into the tube), and finally a small bowel series: half a gallon of barium injected into my stomach through the tube and x-rays every twenty minutes until it had worked its way through my bowel--about 4-5 hours. The frustrating thing was that nothing conclusive could be found anywhere! Some enlarged kinks in the bowel that could be due to tumors pressing or irritation from constipation, but no blockage. The only good thing was that I was no longer in any pain, except the irritation from the tube--which was considerable. I don't know why they didn't try to use a pediatric size instead--I'm about the size of a 14 year old, if that! Everyone kept asking me why I wasn't using my PCA pump (painkiller hooked up to my IV so I could dose myself), but once the NG tube was in I had no more pain, and my doctor had told me not to use it if I didn't have to because it would stop me up again.

Finally on Thursday, my doctor called in and ordered the horrid NG tube taken out! I could also have clear liquids! Let me tell you, beef broth never tasted so good. Hospitals aren't the place for vegetarians, so you have to compromise. Which I don't understand. If airplanes can have menus for vegetarians, why can't hospitals? The next day I got moved up to solid food. Hospitals also don't have anything like a soft diet, so the doctor just told me to pick and choose off the plate what I felt I could eat. They also unhooked me from the IV, but I now had to take the mineral oil doses orally. Finally, the doctor came in Saturday morning and said I could go home.

So, here I am. To top everything off, I caught a cold in the hospital and I still have laryngitis from the NG tube. I see the doctor on Thursday for a follow-up. Hopefully I'll be pooping good! I'll also get the results of my latest CA125 and we'll talk about how the Thalidomide is doing. Not too nerve wracking. It never ends.

The best thing about this whole experience was once again the support of my friends--calling, visiting, bringing me food when I got home. I love you guys!

Okay--now what you've all been waiting for.......
American Idol Update!
Once again, all I can say is "What the fuck?" First Nadia, now Anwar? I don't even want to watch anymore. How can Pig-face, Pasty Boy, and Anwar be the bottom three, and Anwar be the one that gets sent home? I was watching the show in the hospital, and even my roommate said, "He's leaving?" Come on, stupid teen-age voters. Get rid of the Pig-face!

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

I went on the first bike ride of the season Sunday!
Here are some things I noticed:
1. a dead rabbit.
2. a dead rat that was as big as the rabbit.
3. it only took one nice day for LaSalle park to fill up with garbage.
4. people on bikes don't exist; cars and pedestrians will cross right in front of you without looking, then look at you like YOU'RE the asshole. I almost got hit by a car making a right on red without stopping. Ironically, I was in the bicycle lane on Michigan Ave. right by the sign that says "Share the road".
5. if you put your bike helmet on while your hair is still wet, it's not a pretty sight when you take it off.
6. no matter what, it's wonderful to be able to ride along the water.

I didn't watch AI last night, but I did remember to tape it! I went to a new yoga class, which I really enjoyed. The teacher is really friendly, and makes an effort to treat each student as an individual--something that was lacking in the other instructors at this studio. She teaches in the Anusara tradition, which doesn't mean much to me yet since I'm still new to the whole Vinyasa thing. The class was challenging, but not so hard that I felt lost or frustrated. This will probably be the one I stick to for a while, even if it is at the same time as American Idol!

Thursday, April 07, 2005

American Idol Update:
Well....what the fuck?
First of all, I agree with Simon: Musicals should NEVER be a theme again! Not only do I generally hate them on principal, but none of these kids has the faintest idea of what any musical is about or how to sing a showtune--even though creepy Constantine claims to have toured in RENT. Which is fine. They just want to be pop stars; they don't need to be cultured. And poor misguided Nadia (who I still like) thinking that As Long As He Needs Me is a beautiful love song.....It's an icky song about co-dependency--a prostitute is singing it about her abusive pimp/lover! Pig-face's rendition of The Impossible Dream was particularly hideous. Bo wasn't great, but he at least managed to sell the song.
Then....I tune in last night to catch the last five minutes and see Nikko and Pig-face standing there. "Great!", I think, "We're finally rid of the girlfriend-beating swine." Wrong! How the hell could Nikko get kicked off before Pig-face or Pasty Boy? Nikko really improved, and he was growing on me. Ugh.

Grad School Update:
I got a call on Tuesday from the head of the Directing Program at Rutgers University! We talked for a while, then she asked me to send a videotape and photos of my productions. I also have to call her back in a few days to discuss a production concept for either Mother Courage or Midsummer Night's Dream. I'm going to do Midsummer, and I Express Mailed the other stuff off last night. I liked her a lot, and the program seems very simpatico with how I work as a director and what I want to learn. Their philosophy is that everything should be organic, that style comes out of real human behavior--not something tacked on top. The directors also take all of the acting classes. They feel it's really important to have the same background as the actors. Cool by me! I've been missing the stage.

Adventures in Thalidomide Update:
So far so good. Still really sleepy, still constipated. What else is new? I have to get a blood test next Friday, then I see the doctor the following week. I hope this is working!

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?